Papi,
God how I miss you. How I wish you could see who I've grown up to be and more than anything how I wish you could see you swing my precious baby boys around cause I know that they would love you like crazy. I love you. I miss you. I need you. I wish I could remember more but I was too little and care-free to bother with the little things. I'm sorry I wish I paid more attention to your laugh or the way you looked at mom. I miss you. My babies will never meet get to meet you and that hurts. I hurt for them. I cry for them. The will never know the love of a grandpa and that's not fair!!! I need you!! They need you!! I was too little. I never got to say goodbye. Do you know I blamed myself? For years I blamed my 10 year old self. I know, ridiculous. I've forgiven me, I've forgiven you, I've forgiven God. I'm working on forgiving everyone there. I want to feel you. I want to smell you and hear your laugh. I just want a hug. I need you. We all need you. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It's not fair!!! It still hurts, why does it still hurt? I love you. I can't say it enough. If I scream it loud enough can you hear me? Does it work that way? I guess not huh.
Feliz Cumpleaños Mi Rey. I Love You.
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